The Double Dog Blog

Here in Chicago, it’s spring at last and one of the first vegetable harbingers of summer is the bitter, half poisonous, celery-like vegetable, the pieplant. Also and most commonly known as rhubarb. The plant’s roots and leaves contain the toxin oxalic acid, so only the stems are edible. Like we the “toiling class” these days, the blood red stalks of the rhubarb must first be peeled of their hard, stringy, recalcitrant skin and then prepared with an abundance of added sugar to mask the true taste of the tart, residual poison and render the vegetable pliable. Customarily in the USA, rhubarb is stuffed in a pie with the first strawberries of the season, macerated with the sugar and some corn starch, and baked for an hour or so at high temperatures, resulting in a luscious mixture tasting a good bit like an amalgam of organic strawberry SweetTarts®, and golden brown, flaky pastry crust. DELICIOUS!!!  A miracle!! Although, when it comes to miracles, the comparison to our modern society ends. Our society is a product of it’s own undoing. Hardly a miracle.

In the UK the rhubarb is baked in a pie with ginger instead of the berries. (They’re a little odd over there but they love the ginger and the pie is wonderful. They also have their own socio-economic problems that have nothing whatsoever to do with Nigella Lawson.)

I have been obsessing about pie crust lately. I’m sure I’m trying to recreate the flaky crusts of my Grandma Stellman. When I stayed with her she would bake pies and would always roll out the leftover trimmings of the dough, liberally sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar, cut into strips, and baked along with her pies.  These “pie dough cookies” were the benchmark of how good the pastry was and in Alma Stellman’s kitchen, the pastry was always glorious.

In those days the fat of choice when making pie crust was Crisco, or Oleo. For those outside of the state of Wisconsin, “Oleo” was another brand name for margarine which was ILLEGAL in the “dairy state”. On weekends or more specifically Sundays after church, my mother, father, grandmother, and grandfather with me in tow  would steal across the Illinois border to score a case of the illicit butter substitute.

So now I love the combination of dessert and crime, slightly reminiscent of my collegiate experiments with cannabis brownies. My current “illegal” or at least “illicit” drug of choce is lard. Yes, rendered pork fat. (This is also known as manteca in your friendly local Mexican supermercado.) It’s cheap, plentiful, and muy delicioso to cook with.

I found that when I combined an equal amount of frozen, finely diced butter and the chilled cubed lard in my pastry, the crust was not only extremely flavorful and flaky, but regrettably anathema to orthodox Vegetarians, Muslims, Jews, and Cardiologists who I cannot begin to know how to cook for to begin with. Us lapsed german Lutherans don’t seem to have a problem with the fat of the pig and it makes a vastly superior pastry.

So here’s my quick Cuisinart pastry recipe for a single and a double crust.  Obey the instructions explicitly to avoid over processing the dough which will result in tough pastry, reminiscent of our current economy.  Substitute Crisco for lard and Margarine for butter if you absolutely must.

Recipe for a 9.5″ single pie crust

1 1/2 cups (6 oz/185 g) all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 cup (2 oz/62.5 g) butter
1/4 cup (2 oz/62.5 g) lard
just enough ice water
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Recipe for a 9,5″ double pie crust

2 1/4 cups (9 oz/280 g) all-purpose flour
3/4  tsp. salt
.375 cup (3oz/90 g) butter
.375 cup (3oz/90 g)  lard
just enough ice water
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Attach the chopping blade to your machine. Put the flour, salt, butter, and the lard all at once into the bowl. Pulse quickly 15 times. The mixture will resemble tiny crumbs and flakes. Add 2 tablespoons of ice-cold water (4 for double crust). Pulse on and off 5 times. Add 1 more tbsp. of water (2 for a double) and pulse machine on and off 3 times. Open the workbowl and feel the dough. It will just begin coming together. If needed add more water a tablespoon at a time, pulsing once between each addition. The dough will almost, but not quite form into a ball. It will still be a bit raggedy. Remove the dough from the machine, form into a fat disc, wrap in cling-film and refrigerate before rolling out. If your recipe is for a double crust, divide the dough in half, form into two fat discs, wrap and refrigerate.

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Recipe for Strawberry Rhubarb pie filling

1 recipe (above) for double crust pie
3/4 cup (6 oz/170 g) sugar
3 tbsp. (1 oz/30 g) cornstarch
1/4 tsp. salt
1 1/4 lb. (625 g) rhubarb stalks (no leaves),
peeled, and sliced into 1/2″ pieces leaving
4 cups (1 lb/500 g)
2 cups (8 oz/250 g) cleaned and sliced strawberries
2 tbsp. unsalted butter
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Pre-heat oven to 425°f (220°C)

Line 9″ pie pan with rolled out pastry. Roll pastry for top crust and set aside.
Combine filling ingredients (except the butter) in a large bowl and toss thoroughly to coat all of the rhubarb and strawberries. Pile filling into the pie pan and dot with the butter. Cover the pie with the top crust and trim and seal the edges. Cut several vents in the top and brush crust with egg whites before baking.

Bake for 20 minutes, reduce oven to 350°f (180°C) and bake for an additional 30-40 minutes until bubbling and crust is golden brown.

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So there you have it. Strawberry Rhubarb Pie. Like life, it’s bitter and it’s sweet together creating something somewhat tart but definitely delicious. Bake one before all the rhubarb’s gone. Soon there will be peaches.